How I Know My Wrinkles Are Still Small

This week, Dave Roberts — Dodgers manager— called me young lady. 

I was checking my Instagram waiting for him to speak to reporters before a Dodgers vs Nationals game, and he came out and ran into me. As I said, I was doing important things like checking my Instagram — I didn’t see him coming.

“Excuse me young lady,” he said. 

Dave Roberts speaks with reporters before the Dodgers game.

I think there are probably workplace mores in 2017 that say you shouldn’t call women young lady. But I for one am glad that if such unspoken rules exists which would require me to be offended, I am only barely aware of them. And Roberts also doesn’t know about them. 

Here’s why: When I picked up my media pass earlier I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window when I smiled — the box office staff are getting to know me. We have jokes now. When I laughed at one of our jokes I saw something horrifying: I have wrinkles. Only when I smile, which of course is natural and can only be avoided if you refuse to smile, like this strange person I saw trending on FB the other day (a woman whose anti-wrinkle regimen precluded her from smiling her entire adulthood). But in my minds eye I glimpsed my face ten years from now and saw those creases around my eyes will eventually be real wrinkles. 

It made me sad. I was hoping I could still pass for 23. You don’t have pre-wrinkles at 23.

You might think I’m blowing this out of proportion but consider that not long ago when I smiled there weren’t even pre-wrinkles forming. It’s a big jump to go from nothing to pre-wrinkles. 

Those of you with wrinkles might be so used to them you don’t remember this moment. But it will stay etched in my mind forever. 

Then Dave Roberts called me young lady and I’m assuming I still pass for 23 — because, and I’ve thought about this, I’m not sure you’d say that to anyone over 23 in a professional capacity.

And, again, it’s amazing. It felt amazing. Please feel free to call me young lady any time, Roberts. This is a lifetime offer. 

Earlier this week I covered the Dodgers vs Nationals series. Dodgers lost two games and Nationals lost one. That means I talked to both managers about their losses. Which should mean I have more wisdom coming to the #LoserFiles. 

But I’m not sure I learned anything from these losses, or if I did what it was. Maybe it’ll become apparent if the Dodgers or the Nationals face each other in the post-season or if one team does really well this fall. Then maybe I can look back on these losses and trace a line from them to success.

That’s why I’m keeping the tapes. 

But for now, they just seem like something that happened. Sometimes you play as well as you can and still lose. There’s not much to be said about that — it’s just what happens. 

Maybe that’s some #LoserWisdom for you. Sometimes it just is what it is. You cut your losses and hope it doesn’t become a trend. Maybe if you think about them too hard it will. 

Dodgers vs Reds tonight and over the weekend. Expect a forthcoming report on that. 

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